How to be successful in life......

I recently finished a study on the book of Judges. I learned so much and saw more of Christ than I ever have while studying an Old Testament book. It doesn't take many chapters to realize that the Israelites have a pattern problem. They follow their own reasoning and sinful desires only to find themselves enslaved by an enemy nation. They cry out to God and He raises up a rescuer who delivers them. They are so relieved to have their freedom back that it isn't long until they turn back to their false gods and selfish ways.

It's easy to shake my head at the Israelites of the Old Testament. I mean, goodness, can't they see that this pattern of behavior is destructive and damaging to their faith?



I think if we're brutally honest with ourselves, though, we would find that we have very similar patterns in our faith as well. For example here's mine when it comes to blogging......

Step 1: I just love this blogging thing! I can share about what God's teaching me and it's so fun to write, etc.........

Step 2: Wait! There's a podcast on how to grow my audience? If 10 followers are good, then 1,000 must be even better, right? If I do this one simple thing, I'll see my subscribers increase dramatically? So, posting on certain days only is the real way to gain online traffic? You get the idea, my blog and it's growth becomes an idol.

Step 3: The pressure of performance and living up to my idol's expectations begins to enslave me. I feel depressed and unable to measure up. I cry out to God! I'm doing all the right things with my blogging and writing but everyone else beside me seems to be succeeding!

Step 4: Sigh, I think I'll just give up blogging. There are so many other people that can do it more successfully than me! I'm sure God wants me to be focusing on something better.

Step 5: A random person (who I didn't even know read my blog) encourages me that God is using my feeble efforts to encourage them and remind them of the gospel.

Step 1: I just love this blogging thing! I can share about what God's teaching me and it's so fun to write, etc......

Continue cycle......

Seriously, this pattern has occurred at least 5-6 times in the last few years! It hit me yesterday that I have the same cycle issue that the nation of Israel struggled with.You see, my definition of success has been wrong. Just like the Israelites, I've looked to the world's definition for my worth and identity.
It might not be blogging for you, but it may be a myriad of other things like your home business, marriage, ministry, friendships, or even motherhood.

We believe the lie that success is having followers, attention, money, even good feelings all of which almost immediately become dangerous idols in our camp. They enslave and abuse leaving us feeling hopeless at the end of the day.

We cry out to God who lovingly and mercifully rescues us from ourselves yet again and we run right back to the idols our souls crave.

What we forget (or possibly refuse to remember) is that God's definition of success is measured by something that was already finished 2000 years ago. Death and sin was already defeated. His Son triumphed over the grave. His Spirit is alive and well working in this still sin-tainted world.

True success is defined, not by what we do, but by what has already been done by Christ.
Numbers and notoriety are never the true definition of a successful endeavor.

Consider Colossians 2:13-15:

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses,  by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

That, my friends is a true success story! 

Want a gospel reminder in your home? Download a free printable!
This post is linked to the Mom 2 Mom Monday Link-up!

Baby spoons and the Church....

There is really nothing extra special about these spoons, but every time my little girl slobbers her pureed peas all over them, I'll be thinking about the Church!

You see, this past Sunday one of the sweet ladies in our church asked me if I needed them.  She had them at her house and wasn't using them anymore. What she didn't know was that we can find only one baby spoon in our house right now. I have no idea where the others have disappeared to, but we have to wash the same one multiple times a day in between meals. It's really not the end of the world to have one spoon and it certainly wasn't something I'd take time to pray about, but it is a little frustrating to dig through the dirty dishes in the sink to find it every time we sit down to eat.
Without her realizing it, God used her to meet a need in my life that morning. We now have enough spoons for each meal with one left over for breakfast the next day!

The beauty of the Church is that meeting physical needs isn't its only function. God designed this unique assembly to encourage and exhort one another spiritually.

We need one another.

There are distractions draining our time and energy constantly. We struggle with work demands, sick kids, and broken relationships. Christ's work on the cross is the answer for the hardships we face daily, but we often need help seeing and applying those gospel truths. That's why being plugged in to a local church family is so incredibly important!
It's not about filling a pew or earning brownie points with God for attending a service. It's about being a part of the very God-designed system that will aid in our growth. We gather to remind one another that we are the redeemed people of God and desperately need His grace every single hour.

I believe that being a part of a gospel-centered church isn't just a good idea. It's a necessity for spiritual growth. 

Instead of baby spoons, a fellow believer may offer you the gift of prayer. The message from your pastor may deepen your understanding of God's Word. You may even have the opportunity to share someone else's burden and offer them the hope of the gospel.

The Church is Christ's project and He promises that He will never give up on Her. How has He been using your local Church body to remind you of the gospel lately?




P.S. Want to hear more about the purpose and framework of Christ's Church? Listen to this podcast! 

Good, Bye (a guest post)......

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you probably saw that I had the awesome privilege of reading an advanced copy of the new book, From Good to Grace by Christine Hoover.
One of my favorite thoughts was near the end of the book when she compares putting off the goodness gospel as stripping old wallpaper. It can be a hard and slow process, but the reward of a true gospel-fueled abundant life in Christ is worth it!!

Christine Hoover (@christinehoover) is an author, a recovering perfectionist, the wife of a pastor, and a mom of three boys. She writes online at www.GraceCoversMe.com and has contributed to Desiring God, The Gospel Coalition, Christianity Today, Send Network, and iBelieve. Her newest book, From Good to Grace: Letting Go of the Goodness Gospel, offers women biblical freedom from trying to “be good enough”. The following is an excerpt from the first chapter of the book. You can read the entire chapter here.

The book is available starting TODAY and I'm SO excited to be able to share a little of Christine's heart with you here on the blog!

I’ve been obsessed with being good and performing all of my life.

Hello, my name is Christine. I’m a goodness addict.

I was born with a list in my hand, or at least that’s how early I imagine it started. I came by it honestly—my mom’s response to everything my sister and I needed as children, whether shampoo from the store or help with a school project, was always, “Make a list!”

So I did. I made list after list—of library books for summer reading, of boys that I liked, of songs to record from the radio on my tape recorder, of necessities to pack for overnight camp, of must-haves in my future husband, even of outfits for the first month of eighth grade so as not to repeat and make a fashion faux pas of infinite proportion.

I don’t just make lists. I am that person, the one who adds a task to a list just to experience the satisfaction of crossing it off, the one who makes lists for my lists.

I’m a perfectionist.

There was a time when I would have said that with pride, but not anymore. Perfectionism has not been a friend to me. Sure, my house is organized and my budget spreadsheet is up-to-date, but when perfectionism is applied to the spiritual needs of the heart, it’s called legalism. And legalism is a fancy word for an obsession with goodness. It’s a belief that good things come from God to those who are good. And it’s a belief that you can actually be good enough to get to God on your own.

I became a Christian at age eight. From that point, or more accurately from the point in middle school when I started having “quiet times” according to my youth minister’s instructions, until my late twenties, I spent the majority of my Christian life striving—striving for perfection, for God’s favor, for the approval of others, and for the joy and freedom that the Bible spoke of yet completely eluded me.

At an early age, I fell for perfectionism’s lie that I could be good enough to win God’s heart and the approval of others. I sought joy, peace, and love through being good and, instead, found myself miserably enslaved to my own unattainable standards.

This was my understanding of what it meant to be a Christian: If I do good things, then God is pleased. If I do things wrong, then he is angry. This is actually the basis of every religion on earth except Christianity, this idea of a scale where the good must outweigh the bad in order to be right with God. I had religion down pat, but the religion I practiced wasn’t true and biblical Christianity. On the outside I appeared to be a good Christian, but on the inside I felt unlovable and was riddled with guilt about my inability to please God.

Unfortunately for me, a large part of a goodness obsession is an addiction to self. Goodness is evaluated by activity, completed tasks, responses from others, and results. It requires a focus on appearance and image and maintaining some semblance of religious behavior. Goodness required that I control my environment with military precision, hide my weaknesses, and compare myself with others or my own arbitrary standards. Goodness fed both my pride and my self-condemnation and kept me relationally isolated.

The other part of a goodness addiction, I discovered in my twenties, is a faulty understanding of who God is and what he expects from His children. I only saw God through perfectionism’s filter. He was gray. He had no patience for my mistakes, forever glaring at me with a scowl on His face. He sighed a lot. If I was extra-good, He might manage to crack a smile. He was one-dimensional, disengaged, unaffectionate, and I absolutely feared him.

I knew nothing about grace.

I knew nothing about forgiveness.

I knew nothing about the true gospel, because a goodness addiction completely overtakes the heart and mind, leaving no room for truth. It enslaves and cannibalizes itself. It becomes an all-encompassing religion, closing tightly around one’s soul. It led me down paths of depression and despair.

And it became my gospel.

           

I lived according to that gospel–what I now call the goodness gospel–for far too long, precisely because I didn’t know the true gospel’s reach. I believed that faith was effective for salvation but only self-effort could produce my sanctification. Now I know differently. God has taken me on a ten-year exploration of grace and sanctification and faith, and I am not the girl I once was. I live in the freedom that Christ was won for me.

Now that I know differently, I also have eyes to see the goodness gospel covertly worming its way into hearts of believers, and I see its destructive effects.

In the Christian culture, there seems to be great confusion and even pressure that we women feel about what we should be doing and why we should be doing it. The confusion touches decisions about education, family, eating and drinking, work, hobbies, community involvement, and even whether one should volunteer when the sign-up sheet is passed around again at church.

The pressure grows when choices are wrapped in spiritual or more-spiritual terms. We see it everywhere: Do something great! Follow your dreams! Make a difference for the kingdom! Be missional and in community! For the gospel-confused, that too often translates into: I’m not doing enough, what I’m doing isn’t making a difference, and I’ve got to create my own and my neighbor’s own and my children’s own and everyone’s own life transformation.

From Good to Grace: Letting Go of the Goodness Gospel is a book for women like I was, who long to please God but fear they never will. It's for the woman drowning in self-condemnation, the woman afraid to be vulnerable with others because she's so fully aware of her imperfections, and the woman who craves but can't seem to grasp the freedom and joy that Jesus promised His followers.

Instead of asking "What does God want from us?", From Good to Grace asks, "What does God want for us?" The book illustrates how we confuse being good and trying hard--the goodness gospel--with the true gospel, which is really about receiving the grace and love that Jesus offers us and responding with our lives by the Holy Spirit's help. It’s my prayer that through it you discover it's possible to know God's love, live in peace and freedom, and serve others with great joy. Because God has something so much greater for you than trying to be good enough.

Purchase your copy today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christianbook.com, or iTunes and discover the gospel’s reach in your own life.

Hope for the Holidays (especially when the holidays are hard)......

You may have seen the videos that Jimmy Kimmel shared on his late night show sent in by his viewers who have purposely given their kids a pathetic Christmas gift. The unsuspecting children rip open the packages in excitement only to realize that they received a rotten banana or a battery for Christmas! Their reactions range from innocent confusion to full temper tantrums. (Click here to watch). 

As I was watching, I couldn't help but think of the similarities between those pranks and how so many of us feel as we approach this season. Holidays look pretty but we open them up to find disappointment and pain.  Sometimes traditions that we hold dear fall through. Sometimes we’ve recently experienced the death of a loved one and the empty spot they’ve left is too much to bear. The raw emotions of broken relationships are magnified during a time that is supposed to be filled with peace on earth. We get overburdened by the to-do lists, gift giving, and Pinterest crafts of Christmas that we end up not enjoying the season at all!

What are we to do? How can we have hope?

I could share with you the fact that Jesus is the hope in the midst of the hard circumstances of life and the holidays, but instead I want to share with you HOW Jesus is our hope for the holidays.

Adam and I have faced some circumstances in the last few years that have brought many tears and heartache especially during this special season. I don't feel comfortable broadcasting the issues across the internet, but I have learned several important things throughout the pain. 

First of all, we are all broken people. The first book of the Bible, Genesis, tells us about Adam and Eve. They were created as perfect human beings with a perfect relationship with God. It wasn't long though until they decided that they wanted to be just like or even better than God and they disobeyed God’s very first command. The rest is history! 

Every single one of us is born with that same sinful heart full of pride. Every one of us naturally puts ourselves at the top of the list! Because it’s full of broken people, our world is a broken world. I don't have to know you, to know that your life is full of difficult and sometimes horrible circumstances. I don't have to know who is reading this post to know that there are lives touched by cancer and disease, abuse, broken relationships, and financial problems. So obviously hope for this season can't come from our circumstances because they will constantly disappoint us!

Second, we can't fix that brokenness ourselves. As moms we love being the “fix it people” especially in our homes. There is always one more “10 Steps to a Better Life” blog article to read. Maybe if we could try a little harder in this area or that, we could finally be happy. The problem is that it is never enough. Because we're broken and sinful, we're always going to run up against the wall of failure. We will never measure up no matter how hard we try. Putting on the “I’ve got it all together” face only continues that lie to ourselves that we can somehow make it all better! So there’s no hope within ourselves either!

Third, God is holy. Holiness is the complete absence of sin or wrongdoing. In other words, God is the complete opposite of us. He has high, perfect standards for our lives. We are to show perfect love at all times and never do those loving deeds with a prideful heart. The 10 commandments are just the beginning of living a perfect life! AND because of His holiness, He punishes the imperfect with eternal death and separation from Him.  No hope there either, right?

By now, you're probably thinking I thought you were going to share with us the hope for the holidays. This isn't very encouraging!
Enter Luke 2:1-7:

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This was the first registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

This familiar Christmas passage isn't just a nice story that makes a sweet nativity scene. The coming of Jesus as a baby is the answer and hope for all of that brokenness, sin, and hurt. You see as Jesus grew up, he never broke God’s law even once. He lived perfectly even in the broken circumstances around him. Then when He was 33 years old, he took that punishment of death from God which was meant for you and me. He died a horrific death on the cross not because of His imperfection, but ours.

The story doesn't stop there, though. That death didn’t defeat Him! He rose back to life again after three days! He conquered sin and paid for us the debt that we owe to God!

That, my sweet friends, is the hope of the holidays. In the midst of my tears, anger, and pain at the broken circumstances in our life, I can have hope. Complete healing and restoration may never come here on earth, but I have been reconciled with my heavenly Father because of what Christ did for me! 
When I fail once again at being the perfect mom or wife, I can be comforted in the fact that Jesus lived that perfect life on my behalf already. When there is absolutely no peace to be found in the circumstances around us, we rest in the one who IS peace! 

Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t mean that we are exempt from pain, sickness, or trouble in our lives. Remember the “broken world”? It DOES mean though that we can have an unexplainable peace, joy, and hope in the middle of that difficulty.

Maybe you are left with questions after this post. How can Christ be my everyday hope? What does it mean to have a relationship with Jesus? Answering those questions would be a huge joy for me! I'd love to talk to you! Email me HERE. 

Maybe you know in your heart that Christ is your hope throughout the holiday season, but you have become caught up with the many disappointments and distractions that Christmas brings. I'd love to pray for you as you seek to look at the holidays through the lens of the Gospel. Shoot me an email HERE! I'd love to hear from you!

When life is less than ideal (again).....

I pulled myself out of bed a little bit early this morning. My oldest had a day off from school so we had nowhere in particular to be today. My little one wouldn't need to eat for another 45 minutes or so which meant I would finally have some quiet uninterrupted time with God. My spiritual life lately ("lately" meaning the last few months) has been made up of small crumbs of time with Him - an encouraging, scripture-filled blog post, a Christ-pointing song on Pandora, a verse of the day on my YouVersion app. I was excited to finally have a meal in God's Word.

I tiptoed downstairs (stopping every time I heard even the slightest movement from the boys room). I was not going to ruin this perfect morning!

I curled up in the recliner with my blanket, coffee, journal, and Bible! Finally! I could now feed my soul without distraction or interruption. Today was going to be a good day!

Then, it happened. The floorboards upstairs creaked under little feet! "Oh no!," I thought. I had been able to read only a chapter and write a few thoughts in my journal. I hadn't even spent five minutes in prayer. It was ruined! My beautiful, quiet, perfect morning was wasted!

I felt frustration and anger start to bubble up in my heart. How was I supposed to be a godly wife, a loving mommy, and an encouraging friend without my perfect time with God? Didn't He realize that my soul was craving to know Jesus more?

Then a small voice spoke to my heart. You CAN know me more.
I am here in the mess, in the frustration, in the chaos.

Perhaps it isn't perfect that you need. I can more clearly show you MY complete sufficiency when things are less than perfect around you. 

A deeper relationship with Christ isn't necessarily forged through perfect coffee dates with Him early in the morning, but in turning to Him over and over again throughout the frustrations of the day.
He understands. He loves. He pursues.

He wants to meet me in those places of "less than ideal" and I am able to endure (and even enjoy) the imperfections of life because of His perfect, pursuing love for me!

So, I'm off to face the day and my heart is praying that I will see Him in the midst of the mundane imperfections that are sure to come!

When simpler is better.....

Last week, Adam was able to go on a field trip with our oldest and his class to ReptileLand, a reptile and amphibian zoo. 

Unfortunately, because of the school rules, our little monkey wasn't able to go along which meant that he and I would have to stay behind at home. 

With the new little one on the way, I felt a little pressure to make this day at home with just me and him super special. After all, he hasn't gotten nearly the same amount of one-on-one time as his older brother. I started brainstorming activities we could do together! 

Library? 

Nope, I forgot that our little library is closed on Fridays. 

Walk to our McDonald's in town? 

That might be fun, but we had just eaten out the day before and it didn't sound super appealing to my tired pregnancy feet to walk all the way there. 

Go shopping at a local thrift shop? That would be more fun for me than him! 

I couldn't think of anything super creative, so I suggested that after I was done with the dishes and vacuuming, we could play outside together. He was pretty excited about that idea! 

It was absolutely gorgeous outside. The incredibly long and hard winter was finally giving way to Spring. At first my little guy just wanted to run around looking at flowers, driving his Fisher-Price car, and pretending that he was making runs to Dunkin Donuts and the puppy store. 

Then he asked to swing on his little playset. As I started pushing him, he settled into his seat and relaxed, enjoying the ride. He keep swinging for over 30 minutes and we barely talked (except for when he accidentally let go and fell out into the dirt!). We just enjoyed the creaking of the chains and the warm, sunny breeze. 

When it was lunchtime, I suggested we take our PB&J's out on the front porch to watch the cars go by. We spent a long time spotting motorcycles and cool trucks while we ate. 

Somewhere in the middle of the simple, non-pinnable fun we were having together, it hit me. Sometimes, simpler is better. What mattered during our day together wasn't the incredible activities I had planned. It wasn't the amazing places we went together. It wasn't even the thought-provoking conversation we shared. 

We had a special day because we simply enjoyed each other. 

That same principle applies to my relationship with Christ. Our relationship doesn't grow by more activity, more perfection, or more effort. 

He wants me to savor the grace He pours out on everyday failures and frustrating situations. 

He wants to hear my worship from the kitchen as I'm overwhelmed by His sacrifice for me. 

He wants to hear the silent cries of my heart when I can't quite put my prayers into words. 

I don't want to get so caught up in doing more for Him that I lose the wonder of what He's already done for me! 

My prayer for you...

I actually know very few of you who read this little blog. The fact is, I probably won't ever get the chance to meet the majority of you in person, but I've been praying a specific prayer for you.

As I've grown in my limited understanding of the gospel, I've realized that the gospel applies to every single trial, tragedy, or triumph in our lives. I don't need to know the details of what you're going through to be able to pray you will see that God's "good work" is to "conform you to Christ's image" through it. (Romans 8:28,29) I want you to have a deeper passion for God as you more fully realize His sacrifice for your salvation and sanctification.
I'm always here if you want to share more specific requests, but know that I will be praying for you regardless!!
Blessings!